The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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