It was confusing and full of hummus
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
