Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
