you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
