You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
