I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
