I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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