Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
