What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this boner is exhausting
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
