is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Success! We fucked roommates!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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