Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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