You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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