I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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