he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
