wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
