Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
