I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
