how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Randomize
