I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
