hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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