But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
