Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
