Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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