So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's shark week go big or go home
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
