so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
