She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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