Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
