$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
