he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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