Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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