Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
