No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
