Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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