recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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