he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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