I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
