Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
