party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
