At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
