That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
