Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
