wrigley field is MILF paradise
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
