dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My bed smells like the plague
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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