Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
