A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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