You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
