i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
