Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
