careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
