Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
