Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
