I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
