this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
