I'm jealous of your bromance
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
